Disrupt Cards

Disrupt Cards

The hottest game to hit Silicon Valley! Contains 600 VC-friendly cards to keep your startup busy and your seed money flowing. 🚀

BUY DISRUPT CARDS – $25
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Disrupt Cards is the first and original card game parody of the startup-tech world. It's also the best. With the coolest founders too. Really if you buy any other card game we hate you.

We've heard a rumor that the more boxes of Disrupt Cards you own the higher the chance your startup will become overvalued! And if you're not a founder, shoot your employer an email – you'd be surprised what startups are willing to expense.

DISRUPT ME
  • 💸

    Is startup life becoming a bit stale? Are your co-founders starting to get on your nerves? Maybe you've typed 'fuck' as a git commit for the 15th time this evening? It's probably time you took a break.

  • 🚀

    Pop open a box of Disrupt Cards, hop on Tinder to grab a few opponents, and get disrupting! You'll quickly forget about the fact that your burn rate gives your startup three more days of runway.

  • 🃏

    Tweet your card combinations at us and we'll respond with a retweet and a condescending subtweet! For startups interested in hosting events with Disrupt Cards, hit us up!

Do you have any questions?

Can I invest?

Well yes you can. Please send your donation to the cashtag $disruptyourself and we’ll gladly use your money to buy some new apple products (we hear the Apple Pencil is cool).

Where can I buy Disrupt Cards?

On the internet.

How do I play Disrupt Cards?

Here are the terms and conditions that you won't read.

Can I acquire you guys?

If your name is Marissa Mayer please send us an email at alibaba@disrupt.cards. If not go build an app for disappearing nudes or something.

What if I live outside of ‘Merica?

After all you people who like croissants and cheese and windmills bought games anyways, we now support international shipping (begrudingly) for an added cost.

I want to suggest a card to Disrupt Cards.

Is your name Jack Dorsey? No? Then get the fuck out. ... Just kidding we love ya. Tweet it to us and we'll respond with an insult in kind.

You guys should make an app.

This game is making fun of Silicon Valley not taking part, dipshit.

Who are the amazing gods of humor who make this game?

We took a page from our SV brethren and wrote a trendy medium post about this here. Too cool for medium? Shut up you're a millennial go read it (and don't forget to hit recommend).

I don't like the box I bought.

Then we feel sorry for you ... being a sore loser. Send us an email at disruptcards@gmail.com we'll give you your money back. (Is Uber really paying you that little to haggle over a bad decision?)

My box came broken.

We feel you. Buy a Ferrari, sell your overpriced house (you'll thank us later), quit your startup (don't forget to write the Medium post) and then realize a fucking card game that's broken is not that big of a deal. Just send us and angry GIF (or however the fuck you elitists pronounce it) on Twitter.

I get paid 130K a year to play with a computer and typed the wrong shipping address.

🤦‍♂️ Tweet at us and tell us you did this exact thing, we'll retweet you and then get you on your way.

I want to buy the CEO of my startup this game as a gift.

Do you like your job? If you do or you're not quite done vesting yet you might want to hold off on that. But if you have "Courage." you can tick the 'this is a gift' option during checkout.

How do I contact you?

Reach us via carrier pigeon because we're hipsters or Twitter. Both will be extinct soon.

Do I need the original game to play the expansion pack?

Do you need a MacBook to use a dongle?

How do preorders work? Is this a Kickstarter?

One of our founders got rejected by a girl who works at Kickstarter so we don't use it. #bubbleproblems But to be real it means we're "bootstrapping" so we need a first wave of orders to come in so we can hire people on H1-B visas to help us ship new products to you.

What's your plan B if this whole thing doesn't work out?

Jeremy has explored different luxury cardboard boxes to sleep on the street with while he waits for his next wave of internet fame. Meanwhile Daniel has purchased one way tickets to Poland to make pretty designs on Dribbble that actually suck from a UX perspective. Jordan has a degree so he will be able to get "a job", loser.

Did someone hurt you?

We're looking at you Evan Spiegel. We told you not to leak our artful nudes using cards to all of the Stanford undergrads. We got banned from those parties now.

Do you guys illegally employ minors?

Yes! Yes we do! His name is Daniel and we keep him on a leash and feed him kale to keep him happy 🥗 We pay him below minimum wage as to ground him to what his self worth is. Check our Twitter for weekly roasts.

Why is this FAQ the best one ever to exist on the face of the internet?

We don't know but we think it has something to with being fundamentally unlikeable. You can endorse Daniel for "FAQ" on Linkedin here.